Proverbs 18:22, "He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." (Amp. Bible)
The Bible says that where there is no vision, people perish, and I told you some time back that where there are no people a vision perish. Man is a vision carrier, and if a man lacks vision, it not only destroys him but the whole of his generation, this is why the Bible is saying, "people perish".
Never enjoin yourself as a woman, to a man whose vision you don't understand. Never enjoin yourself as a man with a woman that does not understand and believe in your vision. If a woman keeps telling you as her man that you only think of impossibilities, it is a signal to tell you to continue searching. A woman who is meant for you will always find a way to tell you how much or how better your vision can be achieved. She always has an idea which, if done can make you reach faster where you are going, than if another route is followed. Always respect a woman that gives you alternatives and other ways through which to achieve what you would want to achieve. Pay keen attention to any woman that seems to know where you are going even before you finish a sentence.
The greatest problem we have in families is that most of the times the woman doesn't know where the man is headed. She therefore doesn't even know, if they are going in the right direction or they lost their way. She doesn't know who to carry along the journey or who to drop off where.
As I told you, most people blame lack of love as the reason why many marriages fail. But if you look at what they are calling love, you will discover that they are actually talking about feelings. But as we said yesterday, feelings are bound to change with time, and even after some time, they may actually not even exist. The only feeling that may be left is the feeling of belonging and of having... this is why the vows are called "to have and to hold"... because in the end, that is the only thing you may be left with. Many marriages therefore fail because there is lack of understanding, the woman does not understand the man's vision or doesn't even know it and therefore, she doesn't see her role as the director in the union.
When a woman does not understand the man's vision, their conclusion is usually that the man does not have a vision. And this is usually the beginning of the end. Because if a woman thinks that a man doesn't have a vision, she most likely wants to step in and provide a vision. By so doing, a man's ego is attacked and hurt.
The most valued item in a man's life is his ego; the ability to feel that he is the head and a leader of sort.
One of the easiest way to lose a man is to always make him feel like a second fiddle. And the easiest way to win a man is to always make every contribution he offers sound solomonic.
And this is why I have told you, a man may speak knowledge, because he is an embodiment of knowledge, but it is the work of a woman to process it into wisdom. One of the areas in which women fail, is in that, while processing the man's knowledge into wisdom, they make the man sound foolish and make themselves the originator of the right information. Instead, a wise woman refers to her man as the originator and presents herself as just but a mouthpiece.
This is why the Bible in Proverbs 31:23, "Her husband is known in the [city's] gates, when he sits among the elders of the land". Look at what Proverbs 12: 4, "A virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
This is so because, she talks wisdom, but she attributes her wisdom to her husband. Therefore, even if her husband be a fool, the men of the city do not know him as a fool, because his foolishness is covered by the love of his wife. As the Bible says, "Love covers a multitude of sins"!!
But a woman who shames her husband in any way is a rottenness to his bones. One of the best way to know a foolish woman is in just listening to how she describes her man, how she discusses him with fellow women or amongst men. A wise woman will always try as much as possible to cover her husband's nakedness, but a foolish one will lay him bare for all to see.
What the fool doesn't know is that, those whom you tell of your man's weaknesses are actually getting an advantage of where to strike if they ever need to strike. And most actually end up striking because the more you disdain your man, the more you make some curious to test him for themselves and get a firsthand experience of what you are saying.
One of the reasons why the Bible says, "Vengeance belongs to God", is because, it is the work of God to defend those who are under attack from fellow men, but if you let God attack a man there is no one to defend him. Now, if you make it your business to attack your man, God will make it His business to defend him. The more you pray for your enemies to die, the fatter they grow and the longer they live, but if you do them well, it becomes like coals of fire on their heads.
Abigail was married to Nabal, a fool who refused to help David in his time of need and insulted him. David was prepared to destroy him but Abigail went and defended "her fool". This did not stop Nabal from dying before Abigail, and in the end Abigail was married by David.
I have always said that man was created to answer directly to God, he is accountable to God, a woman is accountable to man. Children are accountable to the woman. This is why foolish children grief their mother because she doesn't know what to tell the man! Wise children make the father happy because he has all the reasons to smile before God!
If the children beat their mother in any way, the man is supposed to defend his woman. If the woman tries to beat the man, God will always come in and defend his man. And this is one thing that women have failed to know, to their own detriment.
This is overflowing to the fourth part... let's continue this tomorrow.
Shalom and keep the faith.
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